Another fight with the wife

2nd day of the year. Fought with the wife again this morning. It was inevitable. A few days ago, I just asked casually if she had seen Max's folder for his certificates (small achievements here and there) because he has a new certificate to put in for his participation in the rock climbing competition a few weeks ago. She said ok, it's somewhere in her mess of things piled up in the corner of the room. I said, ok if you see it, pass it to me. That was a few days ago. This morning, she decides to clean the pile of things, and she couldn't find the folder and was screaming at the helper and blaming her for everything. I KNEW that if I got involved, I she would start attacking me too. But if I stayed out of it also, she was just going to keep spiralling and nothing would get solved. So I told her to calm down, and there is no need to find the folder today, it's not urgent, just clean a bit at a time, I'm sure the folder will show up eventually. Sure as clockwork, she turned to attack me and said I am to blame for forcing her to find the folder, and she has no time to do this, why did I make her do this, why did the helper mess up her "system". I tried to stay calm for about a minute, but she was being so loud and I was being so soft, and we were repeating the same things over and over and she wasn't hearing anything I was saying, and she was just spiralling, and I didn't have the patience to keep doing this forever, so I said fuck it and decided to yell back. I said that all this stuff is not mine, she's just guilty for buying all of it and she can't solve her own problems and now she has to blame everyone else for everything. She backed off a bit but she hates me now and she still thinks it's all my fault and I yelled and she didn't, and I am mean, etc etc. But anyway, I left the room and the yelling seems to have stopped. It's always like this with her. I have to step in and take a few hits (emotionally, not physically) every time she spirals.

I know that in her universe, she is the hero and I am the villain but in my universe, I think I did the right thing. She's gonna hate me for a few days and probably her subconscious resentment towards me has grown a bit more, if that's even possible, but we got through another day.

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