The One About Dumplings and Cockroaches

One night, I came home hungry and I saw that my wife had left me a half-eaten rice dumpling (zhongzi) for supper. They are usually wrapped in banana leaf but this was unwrapped, half-eaten and just sitting there out in the open. As I stared at it, wondering if I should eat it, I saw a tiny cockroach scuttling away from it. Not the big fat ones you're probably thinking of, but the little ones that are less than a centimetre long fully grown - the ones you don't mind smacking on the kitchen counter with your bare hands. This was a small one, even for its kind. I hate cockroaches, but man, I love rice dumplings! So I chose to believe that the cockroach only helped itself to the outer part of the dumpling. I carved out the insides of the dumpling with my spoon and it just melted in my mouth! It was so good! I really wanted to eat more, so I decided maybe the cockroach only touched the part of the dumpling on the side it was near. I didn't see it near the other side, so it probably never touched that part. That part was safe to eat, so I ate it. Oh man! So good! So good! By now, I was sure I was going to eat the whole thing, so I decided the cockroach did not touch the dumpling at all and only licked the plate. I didn't see it touching the dumpling. I only saw it on the plate. There's no point jumping to conclusions. So I ate the whole dumpling. And, as soon as I did, my whole belief system crumbled! I was quite sure I had just shared a dumpling with a cockroach. Not only that, it must have done something nasty to it. I mean, it's a cockroach! It's in it's nature to be nasty! Maybe it laid eggs in it. I'm sure it laid eggs in it! OMG! I started feeling sick! I was nauseous but I couldn't throw up! I felt faint! I couldn't even stand up! All I could do was just sit there and hope the cockroach aliens burst out of my stomach soon, killing me in the process. It was at that moment that I noticed, there was another plate next to my plate, and on it were fresh dumplings, neatly wrapped and protected under a food cover.

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