I lost the battle but I think I'm winning the war

We've been fighting for a few days. Or rather, she's been trying to make peace with me and I have been resisting. But we have made peace. 

I agreed to pay for the 27,800K debt she owed 2 art galleries for 3 pieces she bought.

(I previously mentioned it was 17K because I thought it was 17K but it's actually 27,800. Either I remembered wrongly or she was downplaying it).

I agreed to pay the remainder of her credit card debt, which hopefully is not a lot since it is only the 4th of December today and the last payment I made was on November 30th. In any case, it is less than 28,000 because that is her credit limit. I'm hoping it is less than 10,000 but we shall see.

I agreed to pay 8000 she owes a florist for some orchids she bought over the months (which have all died because she didn't water them because she was busy running around town shucking oysters and buying kebaya dresses).

I agreed to give her some spending money each day but a reasonable amount.

In return, she gave me her credit cards. I had to add some stipulations. No cancelling her cards to get new ones (obviously, but you have to state this things if you are dealing with my wife). No complaining about not earning credit card points. And when the bank issues new cards in a few years, I'll hang on to those for her as well.

She still has two payment apps that are connected to her credit cards, which I am allowing until it becomes a problem. She has agreed not to use these apps as a loophole to keep spending ridiculous amounts of money.



After so long, I finally feel like I have control of my life again. These two cards are collectively the McGuffin of the story of my life and I finally have them! For so long I've just been in survival mode, living one day at a time, trying not to think of the future. I just kept my head down, because every time I looked up, I was afraid of seeing the future and the future was almost certain financial doom. There was no light at the end of the tunnel. Now, there should be reason to hope again. But it's been so long and I feel so old and tired. Maybe given time, I will remember how to hope and dream again.

This is a good first step to a new beginning.

My wife will be going from spending tens of thousands a month to just a few thousand. She'll need support and encouragement but she'll also need firm guidance not to fall back to her old ways. She spend a few million bucks owning things that didn't make her happy, but I hope she finds happiness and fulfillment in other places.

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