3/4 life crisis.

It is September 7th today. I can't believe it. 2020 feels like it was just yesterday. 2019 feels like it was just yesterday. I feel like I've squandered the past year. That might be the mid-life crisis talking. Who am I kidding? I'm 50. There's a good chance I'm 3/4 into the grave already.

I'm worried about Lynn Ruth. We've been exchanging emails. I'm bad at replying. It usually takes me over a week to reply her. But she always replies back almost immediately. She hasn't replied in 8 days. She has cancer and she's under UK's medical aid but we're also raising some money for her to get private medical treatment if she needs. She's 87. In October 11th, she'll be 88. Knock on wood.

I'm worried I don't really know how to do comedy anymore. It's been a big part of my identity for the past 9 years.

Tonight, I'm having a livestream chat with Raqib and Michelle. To be honest, I'm not too worried about that. The stakes are low and it usually turns out well. I made some new promotional images for the livestream this morning. It's not much but any small improvement is a step forward, right? It stops me feeling like I'm running to stay still. Some days, it's all I can do to keep up with the chores and then the day is over.

I got a guitar. Two actually. A 3/4 size acoustic guitar and a full sized Squier Telecaster electric guitar. I like em both but I kinda think I'm more of a 3/4 size guitar guy. Maybe my hands are 3/4 size human. I don't remember how long I've had them. Maybe 2 months. Maybe more. I still feel like I'm learning the same 3 chords. I'm learning from Youtube. Before each video, there are ads for guitar lessons and they all start with how you shouldn't be learning from Youtube. Haha!

Last month, we watched the rock climbing events in The Olympics. The rules were kinda weird. Janja Garnbret dominated the women's event. Alberto Gines Lopez won the men's, even though he was one of the weakest boulderers. He actually didn't look happy on the podium. He probably felt one of his friends should have won. That's what I like about climbing. Everyone is rooting for everyone.

Twitch is kind of like that too. I like the Twitch community in that it is super positive and supportive. It's nice to have a place like that to visit, but I also know I'm kind of a loner and don't really feel like I fit in there very well. I need to spend less time there. It makes me feel old.

I've been watching Mr. Robot on Netflix. I like the show but it's also got this annoying element of modern TV scripts where it's sold to you like a drug and I'm kinda pissed a bit that I am a little addicted to it. Also, it has some annoying plot holes. Spoiler Alert! Like all these elite hackers don't seem to worry about covering their tracks and tying up loose ends. They'll spoof a message on someone's phone to tell them some fake news and that person is basically distracted forever and never mentioned again in the series. They raise some questions in the first episode and I have to watch 45 episodes to find out what the answers are, and there's a lot of fluff in the middle that's just unrelated, and they kind of JR Ewinged us in that some of the stuff we watched didn't even actually happen. Some of the character's motives are kind of difficult to explain, so they just explain it by saying they're crazy or they're weird. I guess crazy is the new deus ex machina. I have half a mind to just watch the last episode and skip the rest. Because, what is the payoff for watching the whole series? Would I learn something new? All the themes are sort of refreshing for a TV series but also not really that new overall - capitalism is far from perfect, religion's flaws, what reality is, the problems with social media. Many of these ideas have been discussed at length in movies, comedy, music, talks, and aren't really new to me. What about the entertainment value? To be honest, I'm already in the 3rd season and at this point, I just feel like the story could have ended by now if they wanted to but they're just milking it by delaying the answering of the questions raised in the first season. The show is so confusing anyway, that I am pretty sure I could watch every episode from beginning to the end and still not understand it any better than if I had just watched the first and last episode. I'm gonna do it. I'm going to "ruin" Mr Robot for myself and skip ahead. Life is short and I've only got a quarter left of mine.

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