I think I'm okay with Louis CK

I paid for, downloaded and watched Louis CK's two latest specials Sincerely and Sorry.

I know about the sexual misconduct cases, of course. I don't know what to tell you except I wanted to watch some Louis CK specials and I didn't want to steal them, so I paid for them and watched them. 

Did I think it through and have a big debate with myself about whether that was the right or wrong thing to do? No. Actually, yes, I did - a couple years ago and I came to no solid conclusion. I couldn't figure it out back then and I probably never will and I just don't have the energy right now. Be honest - do you have a big debate with yourself about the ethics of every purchase you make? If you do, then good for you. I don't. I think what he did was not right, but I also don't think he should be lumped together with rapists. They didn't even call it sexual harassment. They had to call it sexual misconduct, which was something I hadn't even heard of before that. He fucked up and he knows it and wants to move on and within the confines of my wallet and my television, I will allow it. If you feel that makes me a monster, then I'll just have to live with that. Everyone makes unethical purchases every now and then. Most people don't talk about it. I chose to be open about this one, so do with that information what you will and I'll accept the consequences.

To be honest, I think I have outgrown Louis CK a little bit. Maybe because I have learnt more joke-writing tricks and I'm starting to see some of the seams. Maybe I'm just a miserable fuck. I watched both specials and you could count the times I laughed out loud in one hand. That's not to say they weren't good. I think they were great! I just hardly laugh at stand up comedy anymore, when I am watching alone. And I'm not saying I'm a better comedian or even a good comedian. It has nothing to do with that. There are thousands of comedians who are way better than I will ever be. But I will not laugh when watching their standup specials alone. I wish I still could. Sometimes, I ask myself if I would trade my ability to do stand up with the ability to laugh. I'm not sure. I'm still holding out for the one comedy special that will make me laugh non-stop. For that to happen, it would have to be the next great comedian. The next Louis CK. Not this Louis CK. And if nobody comes along, I shall have to make that comedy myself.

Anyway, I'm glad I watched the specials. He was talking about way more risque stuff than I felt I was being judged for. I think I want to do more of that stuff. The best part of Sincerely was when he talked about how the meaning of the word retarded has evolved and it was one of those great premises every comedian and writer wish they got to first. Well done!

He's inspired me to be braver in my comedy. Actually, I remember being brave in comedy. He reminded me I need to do that again. I remember Douglas Lim saying my comedy is shock comedy and it isn't a reliable way to get a laugh. It's a great observation and great advice and I have benefitted from it but I also feel like it damaged my comedy a bit. It's time to undo that damage. 

You can't be a mild shock comic.

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